My light feels like it is very dim this evening.
I am tired.
I am grumpy.
My temper is short.
I am easily finding fault with lots of things and people around me.
This is not my best self. Not the person I want people to see.
It is real though. Real.
The light is dim.
So I have to put on my big girl drawers and realize that this is not what I am called to be. These are not the plans he has for me tonight. I am not giving him or anyone around me my best right now.
I am going to choose to stop these negative thoughts and actions right now. I am going to pray for a calm mind filled with thoughts that are pleasing unto him.
I almost have to go back to the saying "Not my circus, not my monkey's".
I can only control me and what is in my circle of control with God's guidance.
Deep breaths.
Prayer.
Repeat.
See you all tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Monday, February 8, 2016
Exodus 26 - God has specific plans for me.
I was so excited last week when my NIV Beautiful Word Bible came in the mail from my pre-order on Amazon. As usual when I get a new book or a new journal, I am hesitant to write in it because I am scared my handwriting will look all wonky. Anyone else there with me? Plus, I have never been one of those gals to write in my bible. I have my bible from when Jeffrey and I were first married and I bought us new ones with our names on them. I underline occasionally but would never dare to actually write in it...
Well, times are a changing. I wasn't sure what my first "entry" in this new bible would be. I didn't even really think about it.
This morning I simply picked up my black pen and wrote in the lined margin next to Exodus 26.
"God has specific plans for me."
And then I squared it off with my green felt tip pen.
"God has specific plans for me."
I believe this. I know this to be true. But here's the deal. I need to remember this at all times.
It is really easy to remember that he has plans for me when the plans are going smoothly, when the bank account has more than enough, when people are healthy, when I am happy, and when there is very little suffering.
Yesterdays sermon was "Be Encouraged". God is speaking to me so loudly these last few weeks. Everywhere I turn I am hearing about, seeing or reading about encouragement.
I really feel that God's plan for me in this moment is to be an encourager to others, to be the light.
I am continuing to be in prayer about where he wants me to go and what he wants me to do in my life.
Before I end this morning I just wanted to take time and thank you for all of the encouragement you give me. I feel a little embarrassed when people come up to me at church, school, or while out and about and say that they enjoy reading my thoughts. I don't feel embarrassed about what I am writing or what God is doing but rather that someone is telling me that they are actually reading this stuff. I don't know how many people even benefit from this small thing I enjoy doing. I know that I feel refreshed and renewed each morning and I always walk away from this laptop with a little more insight and knowledge than I had before. It helps me keep my heart and life in check according to his will. Thanks again for your kind words in passing. It means so much to know that God is working through me every now and then.
Lord thank you for the opportunities you give us to see your plans unfolding. We may not always know what the outcome will be. Help us to put our full trust in you. Father please be with each woman represented here this week. Lead her, protect her, guide her according to your will. Thank you for your perfect purpose for me and for each person here. Thank you for sending Jesus to be the ultimate blood sacrifice so that we could have a direct, personal relationship with you. Forgive us today when we fall short of your glory. Help us to live according to your calling. Amen.
Well, times are a changing. I wasn't sure what my first "entry" in this new bible would be. I didn't even really think about it.
This morning I simply picked up my black pen and wrote in the lined margin next to Exodus 26.
"God has specific plans for me."
And then I squared it off with my green felt tip pen.
"God has specific plans for me."
I believe this. I know this to be true. But here's the deal. I need to remember this at all times.
It is really easy to remember that he has plans for me when the plans are going smoothly, when the bank account has more than enough, when people are healthy, when I am happy, and when there is very little suffering.
Yesterdays sermon was "Be Encouraged". God is speaking to me so loudly these last few weeks. Everywhere I turn I am hearing about, seeing or reading about encouragement.
I really feel that God's plan for me in this moment is to be an encourager to others, to be the light.
I am continuing to be in prayer about where he wants me to go and what he wants me to do in my life.
Before I end this morning I just wanted to take time and thank you for all of the encouragement you give me. I feel a little embarrassed when people come up to me at church, school, or while out and about and say that they enjoy reading my thoughts. I don't feel embarrassed about what I am writing or what God is doing but rather that someone is telling me that they are actually reading this stuff. I don't know how many people even benefit from this small thing I enjoy doing. I know that I feel refreshed and renewed each morning and I always walk away from this laptop with a little more insight and knowledge than I had before. It helps me keep my heart and life in check according to his will. Thanks again for your kind words in passing. It means so much to know that God is working through me every now and then.
Lord thank you for the opportunities you give us to see your plans unfolding. We may not always know what the outcome will be. Help us to put our full trust in you. Father please be with each woman represented here this week. Lead her, protect her, guide her according to your will. Thank you for your perfect purpose for me and for each person here. Thank you for sending Jesus to be the ultimate blood sacrifice so that we could have a direct, personal relationship with you. Forgive us today when we fall short of your glory. Help us to live according to your calling. Amen.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Exodus 25 - Specifications
Last week was a long week. Lots of commitments for church and school. No excuses, just a delayed posting. For those who prayed for Jeffrey's grandmother, she went to be with Jesus. Please continue to pray for the family as we travel to High Point, NC for the funeral on Monday.
Now back to the task at hand...Exodus 25.
God is very specific as to the furnishings of the tabernacle. We see his specific design for the ark, the table and the lampstand.
I try to have the perspective of the Israelite people. I think I would have been pretty nervous with all of these specifications. After all, if I am an Israelite, I know that I haven't been the best at following the specifics that he has given me in the past.
When I read this passage I am blown away by the intricate details. The specific type of wood for the ark, the gold trim and molding, and the buds and blossoms on the lampstand.
"See that you make them according to the pattern shown to you on the mount."
His pattern. His specifications. His plan. His word. His design.
I know that in my life I need to be living more according to HIS planning and not my own. He knows the details of my life. He knows the parts of my heart that no one else sees.
He cares so much about me that he intricately designed me like no other person that will ever be.
He is giving the very people who had such a difficult time following his commands and important job. They are to build the Tabernacle. A place to observe the Sabbath so they would know that he is the Lord that makes them Holy,
I wonder if the people doubted their ability to do this right? I bet they did.
Today I am going to focus on how God is using me in my imperfect life. I am going to study his word and look for direction in more areas of my life. If the task seems to overwhelming or too big for me I am going to trust that he will give me specific instructions and that I will be mindful of them. Instead of complaining and gossiping about situations around me, I am going to be in prayer for God to use me in a mighty way according to his will.
Now back to the task at hand...Exodus 25.
God is very specific as to the furnishings of the tabernacle. We see his specific design for the ark, the table and the lampstand.
I try to have the perspective of the Israelite people. I think I would have been pretty nervous with all of these specifications. After all, if I am an Israelite, I know that I haven't been the best at following the specifics that he has given me in the past.
When I read this passage I am blown away by the intricate details. The specific type of wood for the ark, the gold trim and molding, and the buds and blossoms on the lampstand.
"See that you make them according to the pattern shown to you on the mount."
His pattern. His specifications. His plan. His word. His design.
I know that in my life I need to be living more according to HIS planning and not my own. He knows the details of my life. He knows the parts of my heart that no one else sees.
He cares so much about me that he intricately designed me like no other person that will ever be.
He is giving the very people who had such a difficult time following his commands and important job. They are to build the Tabernacle. A place to observe the Sabbath so they would know that he is the Lord that makes them Holy,
I wonder if the people doubted their ability to do this right? I bet they did.
Today I am going to focus on how God is using me in my imperfect life. I am going to study his word and look for direction in more areas of my life. If the task seems to overwhelming or too big for me I am going to trust that he will give me specific instructions and that I will be mindful of them. Instead of complaining and gossiping about situations around me, I am going to be in prayer for God to use me in a mighty way according to his will.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Exodus 24 - His Written Word
Here we see where the ten commandments were engraved in the pillar of stone by God himself. God was sending the message to these imperfect, doubting Israelite's that this was the law. These were important. They were written by God's own hand.
I read my bible this morning and give thanks for the written word I have from God. So many times I take this book for granted. I forget to go to the word and look for his clear answers to problems. I forget to look at his word for encouragement. I forget to look at his word for guidance in my life. This is one area I feel very convicted on right now.
I am really, really good at praying and seeking his wisdom in that way but I don't use this tool he has given us as much as I should in difficult times of uncertainty.
There are some opportunities in my life right now that need God's hand guiding me for his will.
Today I will commit to be mindful to be reading passages outside of these lessons and the lessons from church. I will be seeking wisdom from him through the reading of his word.
Lord thank you for your word. Thank you for caring so much about us that you penned this living word. Thank you for convicting me this morning to be in the word not just to study specific lessons but to read beyond that in search of answers in various areas of my life. Father thank you for opportunities that require me to draw closer to you whether they are really exciting and good events or events that are difficult and require my complete trust in you. Thank you for your love and patience today and everyday. Amen.
I read my bible this morning and give thanks for the written word I have from God. So many times I take this book for granted. I forget to go to the word and look for his clear answers to problems. I forget to look at his word for encouragement. I forget to look at his word for guidance in my life. This is one area I feel very convicted on right now.
I am really, really good at praying and seeking his wisdom in that way but I don't use this tool he has given us as much as I should in difficult times of uncertainty.
There are some opportunities in my life right now that need God's hand guiding me for his will.
Today I will commit to be mindful to be reading passages outside of these lessons and the lessons from church. I will be seeking wisdom from him through the reading of his word.
Lord thank you for your word. Thank you for caring so much about us that you penned this living word. Thank you for convicting me this morning to be in the word not just to study specific lessons but to read beyond that in search of answers in various areas of my life. Father thank you for opportunities that require me to draw closer to you whether they are really exciting and good events or events that are difficult and require my complete trust in you. Thank you for your love and patience today and everyday. Amen.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Exodus 23 - Church Life
I have to tell you that this is a subject near to my heart. The 10+ years at my current church I have seen people come and go. Sunday School numbers fall. Lots of excuses are made as to why people aren't at church regularly.
Sports - Either you are tired from sports, traveling for sports or practicing sports
Tired - You worked a long week. You deserve a day to rest. Sunday is your only time to sleep in late.
Lots to do - You need to buy groceries, go to brunch, clean the house, do some work for school or your job.
Family Time - You are busy all week and you just want to spend some time with the family.
Fun Saturday Nights - You were out late at a sporting event/concert/dancing/movie and you just need a day to catch up on your rest.
Well, guess what? God doesn't want to hear your excuses. He wants you to be in church sharing the spiritual gifts that he gave you with his body of believers.
I am sure this steps on lots of toes but as my friend Allo would say, the truth hurts.
You must surround yourself with other believers. Worship must be a part of your week.
Jeffrey and were talking on Sunday after church. Someone mentioned how busy and overwhelmed they were and how that keeps them from church.
We both agreed that the 2 hours we spend each Sunday morning refreshes us, renews us for the week. We always here something that touches us and encourages us a the body of Christ. How are you going to experience that if you don't show up? I can't imagine the blessings being missed by those who don't put God first.
I know that I am not perfect and there are lots of areas in my life I can improve on when it comes to giving him my everything all of the time.
Here is what today looks like. Pretty typical for me. Multiply this time 5 and add in Saturday to do housework, appts, chores and shopping. Oh and all the stuff I don't get done at school throughout the week.
4:30 am - 5:30 am Bible Study/Prayer Time
5:30-6:50 Cook breakfast, get kids up, get everyone ready and out the door.
7:00-3:30 Work. Throw in a meeting at another school from 11:30-12:30 and my assistant is out today.
3:30-4:30 Meeting at another school about 20 minutes from my school.
5:00 - Come home and get kids in the car to head off to Youth and GA's at church (Tonight during this time I will be preparing for a 5 week long bible study I will be leading in a few weeks)
7:30- Home for homework, showers, packing lunches, necessary chores that can't wait
9:30 - Hopefully in bed asleep and ready to do it over again tomorrow.
At some point today I have to fit a trip to the gym in....
So when you tell me you are tired and overwhelmed, over worked and just need a day to rest I hear you. Me too!!!
Will I be tired on Sunday morning? YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will I go to church and have my mind, body and spirit renewed? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Church must be a priority in our lives. If we start making excuses we stop going.
I will end with this. A few Sunday's ago Laura was complaining that she was tired and we should just stay home and rest. I told her that in this house, that is not an option. As long as we are well we will be in church. If we can commit to the rest of our schedule, we will commit to being in church. #NoExcuses
If you don't have a church home, find one.
If you are unhappy with your church home, find another one.
If you feel like you don't need to go to church, read these passages listed in the First 5 Devotion today.
Hope to see you on Sunday!
Sports - Either you are tired from sports, traveling for sports or practicing sports
Tired - You worked a long week. You deserve a day to rest. Sunday is your only time to sleep in late.
Lots to do - You need to buy groceries, go to brunch, clean the house, do some work for school or your job.
Family Time - You are busy all week and you just want to spend some time with the family.
Fun Saturday Nights - You were out late at a sporting event/concert/dancing/movie and you just need a day to catch up on your rest.
Well, guess what? God doesn't want to hear your excuses. He wants you to be in church sharing the spiritual gifts that he gave you with his body of believers.
I am sure this steps on lots of toes but as my friend Allo would say, the truth hurts.
You must surround yourself with other believers. Worship must be a part of your week.
Jeffrey and were talking on Sunday after church. Someone mentioned how busy and overwhelmed they were and how that keeps them from church.
We both agreed that the 2 hours we spend each Sunday morning refreshes us, renews us for the week. We always here something that touches us and encourages us a the body of Christ. How are you going to experience that if you don't show up? I can't imagine the blessings being missed by those who don't put God first.
I know that I am not perfect and there are lots of areas in my life I can improve on when it comes to giving him my everything all of the time.
Here is what today looks like. Pretty typical for me. Multiply this time 5 and add in Saturday to do housework, appts, chores and shopping. Oh and all the stuff I don't get done at school throughout the week.
4:30 am - 5:30 am Bible Study/Prayer Time
5:30-6:50 Cook breakfast, get kids up, get everyone ready and out the door.
7:00-3:30 Work. Throw in a meeting at another school from 11:30-12:30 and my assistant is out today.
3:30-4:30 Meeting at another school about 20 minutes from my school.
5:00 - Come home and get kids in the car to head off to Youth and GA's at church (Tonight during this time I will be preparing for a 5 week long bible study I will be leading in a few weeks)
7:30- Home for homework, showers, packing lunches, necessary chores that can't wait
9:30 - Hopefully in bed asleep and ready to do it over again tomorrow.
At some point today I have to fit a trip to the gym in....
So when you tell me you are tired and overwhelmed, over worked and just need a day to rest I hear you. Me too!!!
Will I be tired on Sunday morning? YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will I go to church and have my mind, body and spirit renewed? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Church must be a priority in our lives. If we start making excuses we stop going.
I will end with this. A few Sunday's ago Laura was complaining that she was tired and we should just stay home and rest. I told her that in this house, that is not an option. As long as we are well we will be in church. If we can commit to the rest of our schedule, we will commit to being in church. #NoExcuses
If you don't have a church home, find one.
If you are unhappy with your church home, find another one.
If you feel like you don't need to go to church, read these passages listed in the First 5 Devotion today.
Hope to see you on Sunday!
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Exodus 22 - On Being Holy
All of these specific laws and instructions are preparing the people for what God is calling them to be and for the tabernacle which is to come. God was preparing them, calling them to be holy. I still get blown away by God's details. He loves them so much that he lays it all down. He gives them specific instructions and guidance on how he wants them to live.
Last night Jeffrey and I were laying in bed talking. I do a really bad job of giving him what he needs sometimes. I spend most of my day encouraging others, loving on my little Bees, taking care of the kids and doing what needs to be done. By the time he gets home at night, I have very little left.
Last night it hit me. I used to be this way with God. Before August I wasn't reading my Bible daily. I wasn't praying daily. I wasn't giving him what he expected from me.
I told Jeffrey my "woe is me tale". I used the excuse that I wasn't perfect and this is what he said...
"I don't expect you to be perfect, I just expect you to use opportunities when you have them to talk to me and listen to me and spend time with me."
Ouch.
But isn't that so true not only in my marriage but in my relationship with God.
Jeffrey knows I am not perfect. He knows that I am tired at the end of a long day. But surely I can find 5 minutes to sit and talk with him, to give him my undivided attention, to share with him that I love him...
In any relationship (with God, our spouse, our friends), we have to give them our best. Some nights my best may be planning a nice night out away from the kids. Some nights it may be talking to him while we are making lunches for the next day. Some days I give God lots of time in his word, prayer and reflection and some days I can only call out his name in a silent prayer during a difficult time.
Neither Jeffrey nor Jesus expect me to be perfect. Today I will stop using that as an excuse to not give them what I can.
Lord, help me today to see opportunities to show you how much I love and care for you. Lord help me not to be tired, rushed, and full of excuses that disqualify me. Father help me to be a good wife, friend and mother. Drive out the enemy that loves to hide in the business of my day. Lord tame my tongue. Help me to speak words that others need to hear. Help me to be the salt and light. Thank you for your love and for your grace and mercy. Thank you for not expecting perfection because you are the only perfect one. -Amen
Last night Jeffrey and I were laying in bed talking. I do a really bad job of giving him what he needs sometimes. I spend most of my day encouraging others, loving on my little Bees, taking care of the kids and doing what needs to be done. By the time he gets home at night, I have very little left.
Last night it hit me. I used to be this way with God. Before August I wasn't reading my Bible daily. I wasn't praying daily. I wasn't giving him what he expected from me.
I told Jeffrey my "woe is me tale". I used the excuse that I wasn't perfect and this is what he said...
"I don't expect you to be perfect, I just expect you to use opportunities when you have them to talk to me and listen to me and spend time with me."
Ouch.
But isn't that so true not only in my marriage but in my relationship with God.
Jeffrey knows I am not perfect. He knows that I am tired at the end of a long day. But surely I can find 5 minutes to sit and talk with him, to give him my undivided attention, to share with him that I love him...
In any relationship (with God, our spouse, our friends), we have to give them our best. Some nights my best may be planning a nice night out away from the kids. Some nights it may be talking to him while we are making lunches for the next day. Some days I give God lots of time in his word, prayer and reflection and some days I can only call out his name in a silent prayer during a difficult time.
Neither Jeffrey nor Jesus expect me to be perfect. Today I will stop using that as an excuse to not give them what I can.
Lord, help me today to see opportunities to show you how much I love and care for you. Lord help me not to be tired, rushed, and full of excuses that disqualify me. Father help me to be a good wife, friend and mother. Drive out the enemy that loves to hide in the business of my day. Lord tame my tongue. Help me to speak words that others need to hear. Help me to be the salt and light. Thank you for your love and for your grace and mercy. Thank you for not expecting perfection because you are the only perfect one. -Amen
Exodus 21 - The Law
It is hard to believe that we are half way through Exodus.
Last night I was talking to Jeffrey about how I wasn't very confident about what I would write this morning. As I sit here I still feel the same. This chapter is clear about the laws God set forth for his people. I see in this word that he is a loving God. He cared so much for them that he was very specific in how they were to handle certain situations. He wanted them to know exactly what was expected and how to keep his commandments.
Yesterday I was a commandment breaker. I have really felt convicted and I guess this is a perfect opportunity to share with you how God has been tugging at my heart.
In Sunday School, yes in Sunday School, I said something not so nice about a co-worker. I called them an idiot. Granted, this was BEFORE the class started but it was still very, very wrong.
In my frustrations with people I see at work, I did the wrong thing. I spoke negatively about this person when I should have had silent lips. It was not a very Christian thing to go. It was not honoring God. It was not keeping his law.
That then spilled over into the rest of my day. I was not honoring my husband as I should. I used a harsh tone and got upset when he reminded me of a promise I made that I have not fulfilled. Then I was frustrated with Abby so I yelled at her. I wasn't upset with her, just frustrated with an issue.
It seems like when the devil gets a foothold, he holds on tight. I had felt the conviction in SS to apologize for what I had said but never did. As the day got busier I forgot to pray and ask for forgiveness.
My being frustrated with someone who is hurting (but I don't think completely intentional) people I care about caused me to lose my focus on the people I care about.
The lesson in SS and the sermon really spoke to my heart. It reaffirmed the calling I know that God has placed on me. I am to be an encourager to those around me. I am to be the light in times of darkness. I am here to make sure the world doesn't get worse. I am here to help change situations around me.
I am going to be in prayer about some changes I have been encouraged to pursue with work. I don't want to be Jonah. I want to go directly to where God has called. I will be listening for him to make it crystal clear.
As for my husband and daughter. I owe them apologies and ask for them to forgive me for where I fall short. I know that they will forgive me and that I need to keep my word and quiet my tongue.
I pray that each of you will have a good week. I pray that you will encourage those around you and that you will be encouraged by others. We have to lift one another up. We have to keep the world from getting worse. We are his people and he will use us. Today I will be super vigilant to be the salt and light.
Last night I was talking to Jeffrey about how I wasn't very confident about what I would write this morning. As I sit here I still feel the same. This chapter is clear about the laws God set forth for his people. I see in this word that he is a loving God. He cared so much for them that he was very specific in how they were to handle certain situations. He wanted them to know exactly what was expected and how to keep his commandments.
Yesterday I was a commandment breaker. I have really felt convicted and I guess this is a perfect opportunity to share with you how God has been tugging at my heart.
In Sunday School, yes in Sunday School, I said something not so nice about a co-worker. I called them an idiot. Granted, this was BEFORE the class started but it was still very, very wrong.
In my frustrations with people I see at work, I did the wrong thing. I spoke negatively about this person when I should have had silent lips. It was not a very Christian thing to go. It was not honoring God. It was not keeping his law.
That then spilled over into the rest of my day. I was not honoring my husband as I should. I used a harsh tone and got upset when he reminded me of a promise I made that I have not fulfilled. Then I was frustrated with Abby so I yelled at her. I wasn't upset with her, just frustrated with an issue.
It seems like when the devil gets a foothold, he holds on tight. I had felt the conviction in SS to apologize for what I had said but never did. As the day got busier I forgot to pray and ask for forgiveness.
My being frustrated with someone who is hurting (but I don't think completely intentional) people I care about caused me to lose my focus on the people I care about.
The lesson in SS and the sermon really spoke to my heart. It reaffirmed the calling I know that God has placed on me. I am to be an encourager to those around me. I am to be the light in times of darkness. I am here to make sure the world doesn't get worse. I am here to help change situations around me.
I am going to be in prayer about some changes I have been encouraged to pursue with work. I don't want to be Jonah. I want to go directly to where God has called. I will be listening for him to make it crystal clear.
As for my husband and daughter. I owe them apologies and ask for them to forgive me for where I fall short. I know that they will forgive me and that I need to keep my word and quiet my tongue.
I pray that each of you will have a good week. I pray that you will encourage those around you and that you will be encouraged by others. We have to lift one another up. We have to keep the world from getting worse. We are his people and he will use us. Today I will be super vigilant to be the salt and light.
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