In the margins of today's reading I wrote this question:
"What can he furnish in my life?"
To be honest, I was a real jerk last night to my family. I came home at 9:00 from working out. Jeffrey was standing at the door with a long face. The door knob had broken. I spent about 30 minutes dealing with that while my fish and mushroom dinner was getting colder and colder. Then my youngest thought it would be funny to scare the life out of me while I was deep in thought trying to fix the door, in my sweaty workout clothes. I dropped all of the pieces making the job more complex since I had no idea what order they were in.
I said some things that were not pleasing unto God.
And then I said some more.
After that I yelled at my husband for sending a prescription to the wrong pharmacy.
Last night was not my proudest. Once I regained my senses I quickly apologized to my family. Ashamed for my behaviors, I put myself in a time out and went to bed.
I am so thankful that God forgives me and that my family forgives me. He has furnished us with grace.
This morning I am thinking of the beautiful things God furnishes my life with.
He gives me
hope
forgiveness
peace
purpose
understanding
spiritual gifts
just to name a few.
God cares so much about me that he designed me with extreme detail. I am not accident, no random formation of cells. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and equipped with everything I need that comes only from him.
So as I sit here I think about all of the old furnishings that I bought for myself, all of the things I have crafted or sought that was not from him. Although I have thrown out a lot of those old things, there is still that small bag in the corner waiting to be discarded. It is almost like I go into that bag and pull out the old when God has already given me the new that is indescribably more beautiful and wonderful than anything I already had.
Today I am going to apologize to my family again. Today I am going to be in prayer that the old me who is quick to anger and say things that are not so nice will raise my voice in anger even less.
Father thank you for your beautiful details. Thank you for knowing us down to the smallest cell. Thank you for being the master craftsman. Lord help me to depend on you for all that I need in my life. Please help me to control, with your power alone, the old me that rises up from time to time. Forgive me when I fall short of the best that you want from me. Lord be with me today. Help me to control my tongue and to use it to glorify you, not to tear down. Thank you for your perfect design. Let all of the glory and honor always be to you. Amen
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