Acts 3 - By Faith In The Name of Jesus

As of 10 minutes ago I officially became a middle school teacher.

After years of saying I would never teach middle school.

After years of saying I would never teach resource.

But by faith in the name of Jesus Christ, I will give him full authority to use me in mighty ways. I will not allow my insecurities to block my blessings. 

Thank you to those who have prayed for me. Just in this school year God has transformed me even more than my mind could ever imagine. 

Have Faith. Pray. Believe. Submit. God knows what we need. Allow him to work. Don't block his blessings.

Acts 2 Part 2 - Holy Spirit At Work In Me

These past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of emotion. I was offered a position at another school in the district.

I have seen God move in this situation. I had several colleagues immediately tell me that I would be so great for the kids. They almost said the exact same words to communicate that to me. Even though I am doubting certain aspects of my ability (which another friend tells me is Satan whispering in my ear), One friend even offered to tutor me in math since I have been in the PreK world for so long.

What I do now is good. I do good works for him in my class and school. It is comfortable.

The Holy Spirit has been busy. One sweet friend reminded me of some of the things I had written in the blog. That was the Holy Spirit at work.

Peter denied Christ 3 times. I had turned down 3 job interviews. I am reading John 18. Am I denying him by not trusting in him? Listen to this...

Last week, after saying out loud that I would go on the next interview if he ever sent me one, I got that email at nearly the exact moment about this position and interview.

They offered me the job without even meeting me based on my reputation with the district, autism community and at Columbia College. Even after I had spent the entire phone interview trying to convince them that I wasn't' qualified.

Holy. Spirit.

I feel nervous, afraid and uncomfortable.

What I know is that God will provide what I need. Going from 3 year olds to middle school will be a huge adjustment. I am certain that I will see where God wants me when I go and observe today. I will need to let them know by Friday.

I appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement. This really is a minor problem in the grand scheme of life. I know God worked in my life through Abby and brought me this job helping students and parents during what was a difficult time in my life. My experience has helped many parents.

I just can't wait to see how he is going to use me through this new opportunity.

Acts 2 - His Love Poured Out On Us

As I am in the kitchen at 4 am cooking fajita meet for dinner, I am amazed by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I love how in this chapter those who didn't understand tried to explain it away. They were just drunk on wine (v.13). Don't we do this? And we are believers.

I know that God has done some big things in my life. Even though I don't dare speak it out loud, I wonder if it really can be from him or if it is just a coincidence. That is really difficult to type. But if I am going to be real in my faith (or lack of sometimes) I have to be honest.

Some really big and wonderful things have happened in my life just in these past 9 months. None of which are a coincidence. Since going from only being in his word in the church building to being in his word EVERYDAY, God has done so much.

He has opened my eyes to his goodness and greatness.
He has poured our his love into my heart.
He has convicted me.
He has made me harder on myself.
He has guaranteed my eternity through my belief.
He has used me in mighty ways.
He has provided in unimaginable ways.

My life is far from perfect or easy. These last few weeks have been a struggle to motivate myself to get out of bed and go to work. I just want to stay home, sit on the deck and listen to the birds sing. I don't want to deal with problems at work, I don't want to deal with grumpy pre-teens. I just want to take it easy.

God doesn't call me to take it easy.

He wants me to feel alive, energized, drunk on Him. I need to call upon the Holy Spirit to work in me. Energize me. Fill me up. I need that strong wind. fire, and the words that come from him that others don't understand.

Most gracious Heavenly Father, I thank you for the Holy Spirit. I welcome it in. May it move in me, energize me, give me authority to speak your truth to others...Lord I pray that you continue to move in a way that is so clear that it could only be from you. I want others to be confused by your miraculous power so I can be your witness to them. Father, sometimes we need you to move in big, larger than life ways that are clear. Lord thank you for doing that for me these past 9 months. Thank you for the trials and for the blessings. Help me to go out in the world that wants to make excuses about who you are and let my life be a witness to your greatness. -Amen

Acts 1 - By His Authority

In reading this chapter this morning verse 7 jumps off the page.

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority."

But I want to know. I want to write the important dates down in my cute planner. I want to create a Google calendar entry and set a reminder on my phone.

Jeffrey and I often talk about our careers. For the most part, other than the occasional barfing or explosive poop from my students, I know what my days generally look like. He never knows what he days bring. Sometimes it's pretty predictable. He covers news at the state house or is acting news editor. Other days he is rushing to Charleston in the middle of the night for a mass shooting, rushing to Alabama to cover tornado outbreaks or leaving the house on Christmas morning to cover the death of a famous musician. 

I could never do his job and he could probably never do mine. I need organization and predictability. He does not.

But no matter what we face we are promised this

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you." Acts 1:8

I used to think that this verse speaks directly to the witness to others, telling people about him. As I mature in my faith, I know this goes far beyond the limits I place on him.

The Holy Spirit gives me power and works in me when:

In meetings 

Teaching 

Loving others

Uplifting others

Witnessing to others

Making decisions

Doing stuff that is hard

Laying hands on and praying for others

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever." John 14:16

My prayer today is that the Holy Spirit will pour over me today in all that I say and do. When is the last time you felt the Holy Spirit? I think it is safe to say that we can use that as a gauge on our relationship with Him. Call upon Him today to fill you with the Holy Spirit. 

Let's be renewed, excited, recharged for Christ!

Wrap Up - Leviticus 27 & Hebrews 13

These past few days have been crazy to say the least. On Wednesday morning I was almost in tears from some various frustrations in my career. Around 10 a.m. I looked at my co-worker and told her that I have had 3 requests from different schools to go on job interviews and have turned them down. I specifically said that if God sent me another interview, I would go. No joke, at 10:08 I received an email for an interview.

God moment.

Yesterday I had the interview. There was a lot of going back and forth int he 24 hours prior. I have never worked in this setting, am not confident about my abilities and certain that I am probably not qualified

The interview went so much better than I expected. I told them several times that I didn't feel qualified and didn't want to be a horrible teacher. I didn't want kids to suffer because I didn't know what the heck I was doing.  It would be a huge adjustment going from PreK special ed to middle school resource.

Even after 40 minutes on the phone interview trying to convince them that I was not who they wanted, they asked me to come in next week and observe the teachers.

I am going to go. I don't feel confident in my abilities. What I do feel confident in is that God knows where I need to be. Prayer for this opportunity will be at the top of my list.

In a matter of days my world could change dramatically.

What I do know is certain is that God is in control. He knows what my abilities are. He is the one that qualifies me.

And you know what? I even talked about him during my phone interview. How great was that? Who knows? That may be the entire reason for this. To speak his name to 4 people I have never met. I don't know their faith background. I just gave all the glory to God for using me to reach and connect with parents of young children with disabilities through my own personal experiences.

Father thank you for the opportunity to speak your name and not be afraid. Thank you for being such a natural part of my life and conversations. God I pray that you will be with so many of my friends who are looking to make big changes in their lives. It is scary. It is the unknown. But I know that you work for my good. You protect. You lead. You guide. Lord give me discernment and a clear word on where you are calling me to be. Where you lead me, I will follow. Lord I praise you today for the works you will use me for tomorrow. Amen


I have really enjoyed Leviticus and Hebrews. I am so excited to see what God can teach me through Acts.

Hebrews 11 & 12 - He knows.

Heavenly Father, thank you. 

You know I am waking up tired this morning. My body aches from my workout, I am hangry and want to eat all the carbs that I possibly can, and I want to just lay here and not spend time in your word but rather close my eyes for another 45 minutes.

Thank you for knowing just what I needed this morning. Thank you for honoring my half-hearted attempt to be with you right now. Thank you for loving me so much that you give me my daily bread here that is so much more satisfying that any carb in this house.

This morning I draw my strength from you Lord. I pray that you will renew my energy and help me to face today. Help me to do your will first and everything else that follows. Guide me today. Help me to be:

kind, not cranky

refreshed, not exhausted

grateful, not selfish

calm, not stressed

content, not jealous

happy, not angry

in all that I do today.

Lord thank you for this message today that is just for me. Thank you for reminding me that my strength comes from you. 

Amen and Amen. 

Leviticus 26 - Obedience

Some of you know the struggles we are having with our youngest. It is a storm we are currently in. It is stressful, tiring and effecting our entire family system. Most of the time I feel like I have failed as a mother.

I have been in prayer about this and God really spoke to me this morning in this passage.

Laura and I have been keeping a journal that we share back and forth. The hope was that we could get our thoughts down on paper and not yell so much. It has been frustrating to read her responses. She has a sense of entitlement. She thinks that at 10 she knows what is best and appropriate for her. She argues with me when I give her direction. She is disobedient.

On Friday I wrote giving her praise for a job well done on a project her class presented. I told her that I was being disobedient to God when I yelled at her, lost my temper and sometimes cussed. (Yes, cussed. It is not pretty over here.) I explained to her that I was no longer going to let her get me so out of sorts that I was disobedient to God. I also told her that I would meet her in the middle. When I get angry I am not rational with punishments. Even when she is doing okay I still want her to pay for making me feel this way. (Even though I know I am in control on my own weather.)

Today I see that we are to be obedient to him through following his commandments. It is willful. We are making choices to either follow his commands or go our own way.

By choosing to remain in control, pray, be thankful in the storm and keep my cool, I am sending the message to Laura that obedience to God is my top priority despite how this tired, worn out mom reacts in times of stress and anger.

How can I expect her to follow me when I am clearly not following his commands?

Conviction stings. I know God is going to honor my obedience to him with Laura. In those tense moments I am going to train myself to go straight to him and give thanks for her and the blessings that will come.

Thanks to my sweet friends, some of who are praying for this situation as I type this. I am so thankful for you and for your encouragement here each day.

Leviticus 24 - Shine Bight Like An Olive

I must be the most beautiful, brightly burning olive in the bunch.

I have been through so much in my 39 (well, soon to be) years of life. I really don't even know where to start. A lot of it has been hashed out here...but some too private to post.

I do know this to be true. Kelly Clarkson and Jesus have it right. What doesn't kill you DOES make you stronger. (I am sure that's in the Bible somewhere.)

It's so hard to see that in the storm. All you can feel is the darkness with the winds howling. I can honestly say that I have always seen the rainbows and sunshine afterward. It isn't necessarily the day or weeks after, sometimes is it years. But it comes.

He always has a purpose for my pain.

Difficult childhood - Better Mom
Abby's Autism - Can connect with my students and parents
Depression - Can share my story with others to encourage
Numerous bad choices financially - Full trust in God in tithing and managing what he gives us

I could go on and on...

It has been encouraging to me in this very moment to reflect on what I have been through and how he has blessed me.

Leviticus 25 - Helping Others

Although this weeks reading is in Leviticus, the writer lists Psalm 82:3-4

Defend the weak and fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and and the needy; deliver then from the hand of the wicked.

I do really great at helping others. It is the last part of this that I have to work on...deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

Lead people to Christ.

I am sharing my story in a few weeks for a women's ministry event. My daily prayer will be that God will use me to show his love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, and patience with/for me. I want someone who doesn't know him to look at my messy life and want for themselves what God does every day for me.

Fresh start. New beginnings. Mercy.

It is all in his hands. I know everything will be set in motion according to his will.

Have a great start to your week. I will be praying for you!

Leviticus 23 - Alignment

The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught. Isaiah 29:13


While this chapter is about celebrations and festivals, this verse from Isaiah just punched me in the gut.

While I am here most every weekday, in church every opportunity and serving him daily, sometimes I feel like my heart is far away from him.

Today is one of those days. 

I don't think I have really committed any major sin. I haven't intentionally done anyone any harm. I did cuss a little yesterday. (Some of you are familiar with my shirt. It's funny and sadly true.)

I know exactly what the problem is. My prayer life is not where it should be.

As I get closer to some big events God is leading me to participate in, I should be in prayer a lot more than I am now. I was keeping a prayer journal in the fall but life got busy and it fell by the wayside. Instead of a paper journal I am going to create a google doc this time and see if that is more convenient since I always have an electronic device on hand.

Right now I am going to use those blocks of time on my calendar to be in prayer. I love how a friend mentioned that she set her alarm for midway through the day as a reminder to pray and return focus to him. I am doing that today. 

Lord, help me to live the words I write on this blog. I know that we all fall short but the conviction I feel this morning is so strong. I know it is you tugging at my heart. Lord I know that I need to have my heart realigned with yours this morning. In my busy day I forget to come to you like I should. Thank you Father for sweet friends who without even knowing speak to my heart. I want to live a life that honors you, not a life that myself or other people feel is good enough. Thank you for conviction. Thank you for loving me despite my sin. Lord thank you for bringing me so far from where I once was and thank you in advance for wherever you will have me go. In your holy name, Amen.

Leviticus 22 - Best. Not most.

I get really frustrated at times. It seems like no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for God. This of course is another one of Satan's lies that allows my heart and mind to open up to willful sin that often masquerades itself as being busy.

All God asks of me is for me to give my best. At the end of the day I can ask myself. "Did I give my best today?". If the answer is yes then great! If the answer is no, which it seems to be most of the time, I really need to reflect on my day and see what is getting in the way of my best.

Is my calendar too full?
Did I over commit?
Am I always saying "yes" to things that aren't necessarily his will for me.
Am I taking care of my mind and body?

Here are some thoughts this morning...

Only God can make me Holy.
I have to be in daily communication with him to be able to hear him.
I need to be silent and let him speak to me.
It is OK to say no.
If I am tired or hangry, my focus is on those things and not on him.

We live in a world where being busy makes us feel important. Enter Satan. We are opening the door wide open for Satan to walk right in, take a front row seat and watch the craziness that is our life.

Today I will block off times on my electronic and paper calendar (yes, I am paranoid of losing something so I do both) and it will simple say "Reserved for Him". I am going to be in prayer for these times and see just how he is going to work in these areas of my calendar. I just know he is going to do some really neat things.

Lord, thank you for your word. I pray that in the hustle and bustle of today you will show me glimpses of you so that I may be still and know. So many times I over commit to things that seem good and pleasing to you. Help me to know what you want me to do. Thank you for all of the opportunities you have for me to serve and thank you for making it clear on which of those is right for me. Help me to be less busy and more plugged in to your word and in my relationship with you. Amen

Leviticus 20 and 21 - What's holding you back?

Recently I was asked to speak and share my story at a women's event at my church in May. When I received the email asking me to be one of two women sharing their story I immediately looked for excuses and reasons why I wasn't qualified.

Why would they choose me?
My life is messy.
I am a sinner.
Certainly they could find someone better.
How could God possibly use me?
They must have sent this email to the wrong person.
What do I have to offer?

As women we have lots of negative self talk to offer, don't we? The first thing Satan does is get in my head and remind me that I am not perfect. He whispers to me that I am not qualified.

But I have to lift up my head. Be in prayer and in his word and remember that he doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

I am not sure what he wants me to say at this point but I will be in prayer as I start to write down verses, moments and thoughts that come to me during my quiet time with him.

As women we need to stop letting Satan hold us back. We have spiritual gifts that God has given us and intended for us to use.

My focus this week will be stopping self-doubt and negative self talk. I cannot let these get in the way of God using me or get in the way of his blessings.

I urge you to think about the things that are holding you back from being qualified by God. I pray that you see these obstacles and be in prayer for God to use you in mighty ways this week.

Leviticus 19 - Holy Living

I love these verses in this chapter that focus on us helping one another. (9-10, 14, 33-34)

This morning I am reflecting on being more like God, being set apart and living a life that is holy. It is easy to live a life where I abide by most of his commandments but to live a life that is holy and set apart I am going to need to do some tough things that may be uncomfortable for me.

I am going to have to...

love those that are hard to love.
pray for my enemies.
walk away from conversations that are not pleasing unto him.
volunteer more with my church and community even though I already do a lot.
have conversations with those who are lost about salvation.
lead people to Christ.
step outside my comfort zone.
be uncomfortable.

Some of you may know that my mom passed away when she was in her early 40s. She was sick most of her adult life. Towards the end of her life she was on dialysis. My mom had more surgeries/procedures done that I can count. It must have been very miserable and painful. I never can remember my mom crying or complaining about any of them. She knew they were necessary and she did them. I really use her memory in this area to help me when I am facing something scary or uncomfortable. Although many times I use this when I am facing medical things I don't necessarily want to do, I can apply it throughout my life. If my mom could go through all of that, surely I can withstand one procedure at the doctors office. That should mirror my thoughts and actions with the most holy one.

If Jesus can die on the cross and face such pain and agony, certainly I can do.......
Fill in the blank.

Being a follower of Christ is not an insurance policy for our time on earth.

I am not always going to be happy, healthy or comfortable. There will be sadness, trials and death but I must remember that this is only temporary.

Today I am looking at his instructions for my life. I am looking at my life and seeing those places that aren't so holy.

I know that even on my last day, He will still be working on me to make me what I should be.

Leviticus 18 - Where I used to live...

Um, well...okay.

That was definitely an interesting read this morning. As my girls would say, "It said the S-E-X word, I am telling!

This morning ,my heart keeps holding onto this statement:

I don't want to live where I used to live. 

Yesterday I was asked to be one of two speakers at a women's ministry event in May at my church. It is a chance to share my story with other women. While I have written and given my testimony before in front of my church, I have never shared my story. My testimony then was asked to be focused on how important our church has been in our life. I mainly spoke about how loving and accepting they had been to Abby and our family in general.

The member from our church said she knew my story and couldn't wait to hear it again. I quickly told her that my story is far different even now. I spoke to her about how God has used me so much since August. It has been truly amazing.

This time my story will not be about Abby, Laura or Jeffrey. It will be about how God has moved me to a new address once again. Even though I was living in a pretty good neighborhood before, he has moved me to an even better area of my life. Each day I have to live for him. honoring him and his commandments. I have to honor his authority over my life. I have to honor his calling on my life.

I don't want to live where I used to live. Even today I don't want to be where I was yesterday. I want to grow, stretch and reach places that are clearly only possibly through him.

If we are not living today focused on our eternal address then we are letting sin creep in and cloud what our focus should be.

My prayer today is that I will continue to grow closer to him daily and move far, far away from the sin and areas in my life that are areas I don't want to live in. #TheStruggleIsReal

Lord, thank you for your word this morning. While these are commandments from you that seem really easy to keep, I know that there are other areas of my life that are sinful and distracting from your greatness. Father I pray that you cleanse my heart and mind today of anything that is not pleasing unto you. It may be gossip, food or cravings that control me, a dream that I may have had about a certain beau hunk from high school and even thoughts of doubt about what you call me to be and do. Thank you for moving me to places I never dreamed I would be. I love you and give you all of the honor and praise today and everyday. Amen.

Leviticus 17 - Life Is In The Blood

In church we sing about it.
We read about in in scripture.
Christian radio has numerous songs about it.

But what does the blood that was shed really mean to me?

Reading this sentence this morning really stirred my heart and mind.
Life is in the blood.

It is easy to remember the blood that was shed during this time of year. I know that the farther away from Easter, the less the blood is on my spiritual radar daily.

Today I am really going to process this sentence. I am going to dissect this sentence word for word.

Life - a particular type or aspect of people's existence, vitality, vigor, or energy.

Is - existing, occurring, have the identity, role 

In - expressing the situation of something that is or appears to be enclosed or surrounded by something else.

The - denoting one or more people or things already acknowledged.
Blood - the red liquid that circulates in the arteries and veins of humans and other vertebrate animals, carrying oxygen to and carbon dioxide from the tissues of the body, necessary for life. 

Am I existing with vitality and energy with the identity of being surrounded/encompassed with daily living that shows the life that is required/necessary as clearly stated in his word?

That is my question today. I am going to look really close at each part of my day to make sure that I am living according to his calling. I need to be set apart from the world. People need to see me and see something different, something that my be foreign to them. They need to see Jesus in me. 

I hope this spoke to you today. I had no idea where this was going but it sure makes sense to me. 

Have a great day sweet friends! 

 

Hebrews 10 - Monday Morning Heart Check

Well, this is a good way to start my Monday, feeling convicted.

I needed this though. I needed to read these words this morning. I needed this Monday Morning Heart Check.

As I read this scripture this morning I have to honestly ask myself am I:
Drawing near to God?
Holding on to hope?
Spuring one another towards love and good deeds?

Eh, maybe 82% of them time.

God doesn't want me to live according to his word any less than all of the time. While knowing and understanding that I am not perfect, my effort has been slipping lately. I start to use excuses.

I am tired.
She really is that way so it's ok for me to say it out loud.
That person will never change.
I am doing the best I can.
I have just run out of time to do ________________for God.
God knows I am trying.

The pastor said a statement in his sermon yesterday that stopped me in my tracks:

Exchange anger for his patience. (Uh, my weak point.)

He also made the points that we have to
1. Die to self.
2. Allow Christ to live in you.
3. Live by faith.


I needed ALL of these reminders.

My prayer today for me and for you if you need it is that we overcome ourselves. I need his way, not my way.

I need to look carefully at the slippery areas of my life and get back in check with God, not with Mandey Collins.

Lord, I praise you today for your word. I know that you are the only perfect one. I know that I fall short daily in my walk with you. I praise you for your love for me despite myself. My prayer today is that you are so alive in me that it is visible to all around me. I pray that my life is a beacon for you. I don't want to have a C+ attitude when serving and living for you, I want an A+. Help me to be aware of moments of sin, pride and guilt that get in the way of what you call me to do. Thank you for this Monday morning conviction. Lord let this messy life help others in need and somehow be used for nothing but your glory. In your beautiful and holy name. -Amen

Friday Night Dinner Companion / Hebrews 9

Friday night I had a very interesting experience. Jeffrey went to Raleigh to pick up the girls overnight so I decided to go eat all by my lonesome.

I chose this great little Chinese place on our side of town. I went in and got a seat and ordered. This sweet little second grader (whose parents own the restaurant) came over and just started chatting with me. She reminded me a lot of my own little Laura. Very chatty. Very animated. Very knowledgeable about the personal business of the family. 

She went on to tell me about about her troubles. Her mom was in China to get money back from the sister who hadn't repaid. I asked her if she ever talked to her. She said "no, mom deleted my dad from SnapChat". Yikes! 

I asked her if she missed her mom and she said yes. I told her that I would pray for her and her family. She reassured me that she had just prayed as she motioned to the statues in the corner of the restaurant. I asked her what their names were and she quickly let me know that she didn't know but that was what her mom told her to do so that is what she did. I told her that I pray to our Heavenly Father and that I knew lots about him from reading the bible. She just shrugged her shoulders.

Mission field at my favorite Chinese restaurant. 

In a 5 mile radius from my church. 

People are lost and hurting. 

This precious 2nd grader.

His blood was shed so we can have complete access to him. Any time, any place. Not just once a year by the priest at the tabernacle.

My prayer is that my path will cross with this young girls again so I can continue the conversation from Friday night.

I just bet there is someone you know or encounter this week who does not know him as their personal savior.

What are you going to do about it?