It took me a long time to realize who I needed to be in my marriage. I was often busy trying to fix Jeffrey. Instead, I needed to fix myself. I often saw lots of faults in him and very little in me.
After 18 years I have learned lots of valuable lessons. Here are a handful...
I have to show him respect.
I have to listen to him.
He gives me no reason not to trust him.
It is not beneficial to talk trash about him to friends and family when I don't agree with him.
Going to bed angry is sometimes good.
I have to hold my tongue but also stick up for what I feel is right.
The last sentence is interesting. As my trust, respect, and love for Jeffrey has grown over these years I rarely have concerns about what he is doing for our family. He does what he genuinely feels is best for me so I put full trust in him. If he is wrong, I forgive. We are a team. We work together for the good of us and for the good of our family.
Marriage is not perfect. I am not perfect. He is not perfect. Our kids are not perfect.
In 1998 I saw my marriage as a fairy tale. I had preconceived notions of what love, our home, conversations, sex, finances and the over all relationship should be. Once I let go of all of those, my marriage became more than I ever imagined it could be. The earthly ideas of marriage were replaced by biblical truths about how I should live my life and honor my marriage.
Today, in this season, my life with Jeffrey is pretty amazing. I know as time goes by, the seasons will change. I know that our strong foundation of trust, love and respect for one another will help us face the storms of life.
I am starting a new bible study at the end of the month through Proverbs 31 Ministry. It is about bettering your relationship with your husband. I encourage you to join me on this short study. I know God will use it to better my relationship even more.
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